Have you listened to your inner crone lately?
Have you started from the end?
We all have an inner crone. A wise woman. Have you met yours?
We talk a lot about anti-aging. Of course. Humans have been seeking the elixir of youth since the beginning of time. But we also wonder where our leaders are. We might find them among the crones.
“I don’t feel like myself.” I hear this a lot from perimenopause patients. Because they’ve gained weight and the scale won’t budge no matter what they do. Because they’re more irritable, and they don’t want to have sex as often as their husbands do. And now we have a solution in hormone replacement therapy. And that’s good. I’ve had lots of happy patients who find HRT to be life changing.
But I can’t help but wonder: when my patient says she doesn’t feel like herself, which self is she talking about?
I can’t help but wonder if she is supposed to be changing, rather than going back to a former self. What would happen if we midwifed the change, instead of fighting it?
That might look like supplements instead of hormones. It might look like new sleep and exercise habits. It might look like using that irritability to put a few people in their place who deserve it.
What if we asked the world around us to change to suit our bodies, instead of the other way around? Why should we have to bend over backwards to resist the aging process, which is as natural and normal as being born?
What if our bodies are wise, and are telling us something important? What is so terrible about slowing down a bit, taking an afternoon nap? Maybe the quantity of time spent being productive goes down but the quality of our contribution to society goes up. There’s value in having models for slowing down, especially in a time of move-fast-and-break-stuff leadership.
I don’t want perimenopause to become yet another area in which women feel they have to change their bodies to fit external expectations. We’re in the midst of an important sea change for women. There’s more awareness about perimenopause, which leads to better treatment options and significantly improved quality of life. But we need to be thoughtful. As a midwife, I learned how potent the birth process can be, and that it’s a rite of passage when we allow it to be—much more so than most people know.
I wonder if a similar thing is happening with menopause. Are we burying a jewel under all those estrogen patches? Or maybe the patches are fine, but we’re still not tending enough to the transformational process, fanning its flames and encouraging the wise women to step into their full power.
This is an area I’m passionate about exploring with my patients. To consider deeply, at each step in the journey: what is the most empowered choice? What does freedom look like?
Whether you are in menopause or not, I encourage you to listen for the crone. Your own inner wise woman. Journal about her, or imagine speaking to her. The one who has already walked your path. She’s there. And she has much to offer.
Upcoming Events
HPV and Cervical Health Workshop
In this intimate workshop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I’ll answer frequently asked questions about abnormal paps and offer tips for supplements, nutrition, and lifestyle changes that help prevent or clear HPV. I’ll also lead a guided meditation for cervical health and healing. The workshop is free but space is limited and RSVP is required. RSVP to hello@lifted-lotus.com
Tuesday, September 15th, 6:00-7:30pm
The Lifted Lotus, 202 N 4th Street, Ground Floor, BK NY 11211
About Wise Body Women’s Health
Wise Body Women’s Health is an integrative gynecology practice in New York City founded by Jane Riccobono, CNM, WHNP. Appointments blend evidence-based medical care with attention to the body’s deeper signals—intuition, emotion, and the wisdom often dismissed by conventional medicine. Whether you’re navigating perimenopause, chronic symptoms, or simply want a provider who sees the whole picture, Wise Body offers unhurried, whole-person care. We are currently accepting new patients for both telehealth (anywhere in New York State) and in-person visits in NYC. Learn more here.